Cannibal Holocaust

So Saturday night I went to the Sunshine theater in the Lower East Side to go check out the movie "Cannibal Holocaust". I'm a member of a Long Island Horror Movie group and I was meeting up with a girl from the group (sounds a bit weird and just full of bad ideas) in the city where we went to a couple of cool dive bars nearby the theater. We got there and I found out that the theater had recently shown "The Dark Crystal" and would be showing "Aliens" at midnight which automatically makes it an awesome theater in my book.

With that being said, "Cannibal Holocaust" was definitely the goriest most messed up movie I have seen in a long, long while. Made in the 80's it is essentially a similar plot to "Blair Witch Project" but much different. A bunch of American film students go missing in the South Americas and their possessions and remains are found with a cannibalistic tribe. The people who find the film from the film crew piece it together to show how the students essentially went batshit insane and turned into horrible human beings who burned a village, killed and raped people and even filmed members of their own crew being killed and eaten by the cannibals. The worst thing that was probably the most stomach churning of the entire movie was when they killed and ripped apart a live turtle. Yes that's right, an actual flesh and blood turtle was killed and ripped apart while it was still alive and the camera man simply cannot help but watch the entire gruesome act. While my stomach has a strong constitution, I was still feeling a bit queasy afterwards. Some people however had to leave the theater (including the girl I watched it with, but she came back for the rest of the movie). The movie is Italian, and has some dubbing, but is mostly in English. I found out before I saw the film that the movie was banned in a bunch of countries because it is seen as a snuff film. Italy almost charged the director with three counts of murder for his actors who were thought to be actually dead! The director had to actually ask his actors and actresses to physically come in and show that they were still alive for the charges to be dropped. Even though no people were killed, a couple of animals actually were killed including two pigs, a coatimundi, a snake, a spider monkey (that gets its face chopped off and its brains eaten for real) and the aforementioned turtle. I didn't get back until about 4 a.m and went to sleep around 5 a.m. Tomorrow I'll see if I can put some writing up on here.

Friends make me feel better.

As cliched as the statement above is, a lot of times when I feel shitty in general, I can count on hanging out with my friends to help boost me back to my normal happy levels. Since I have been unemployed I have been getting more pissed off and depressed for obvious reasons (losing money, having parents pissed at me, etc.), but when I get to hang with my friends, and when I get to bring them to my parents and have them interact with them, I get a load off my back and I can see how nice my friends are and how happy my parents are that I have such nice, friendly and polite friends that they also enjoy having over. It doesn't even matter to me if my own friends talk more to my parents than they do me, as long as they are having a good time, and the attention is off of me for a little (ok, I do obviously talk and bring attention to myself when recalling stories).

My good friend Sam came back from college and I was able to hang out with her today even though it consisted only of helping her make dinner for her family, eating dinner with my parents and then watching the Olympics with my parents and one of her friends who dropped by. It was great when Sam's friend Cal dropped in and my folks were all too happy to meet him and give him some of our still warm leftover steak, salad, mashed potatoes and even cake and ice cream. Plus he and Sam provided great topics of conversation and were able to joke around with my mom and dad which is always a plus in my family.

After hanging out with my friends, I always feel a bit more confident and better off knowing that I have such good friends to hang out with. I will always be glad to have my best friend Josh nearby and could not thank him enough last week when we went on the most amazing adventure I have ever taken (including most of my time spend in Europe). It was so great, that I am nearly frothing at the mouth to do it again just so I can take so many more pictures of the place we went to. Its times like these when friends really are great and can help you that much more with your problems than just your family support.

A little bit about the shit thats eating me up.

Thought I'd give this a try since lots of people have one it seems. I've always enjoyed writing and trying to improve my writing in some ways, even though I mostly write for myself. I thought I would create this blog to maybe put up some of my writing bits and pieces and see what people think of them and maybe even help me along. I could also probably use anybody's help with looking for a job since things are so shitty for me. It's barely been even two months since I was "let go" from my seasonal job at UPS and I'm getting really close to being broke and almost being unable to pay for bills and insurance. I had to put a pause on my college loan payments for a few months so that I can make whatever money I have left last as long as it can. It sucks majorly for me also because I don't have any kind of love interest either, but there are several girls that I really like that are friends of mine and that seem to possibly like me, but they either have boyfriends, or they are just not looking for a relationship (specifically with me). I seem to have this "guy friend" thing going for me where girls think I make an awesome friend, but not a good boyfriend. I've only dated about three girls since my senior year in high school and I still don't know how or why they actually went out with me. I don't know, I guess I'm just pissed off in general about the general shitiness that my life is right now with not having a good paying job that I enjoy doing. My graduating year really got the shit end of the stick with graduating when we did. I really hope things get better soon or else I might have to start working two shitty jobs just to get by. Anyways, sorry to seem like I'm ranting. Just had a not great day with arguing with my mom which is always in her favor and it seems like I just can't do anything right sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I haven't fucked up in the recent past while living at home, I'm just in a bit of a pissy mood is all. I am usually very optimistic about shit, and I am still confident that I'll have a job within a month or so (or at least I really hope I will) and that I'll be back on my financial feet within a few more months, but sometimes I just get sooo pissed off at the way everything's been going for me recently and I can't help but feel down. Whatver. I'm done for now. I feel a lot better now.